Sunday, January 10, 2010

College Life: Reflections Before Second Semester

Tomorrow I'm about to head back to the University of Kentucky for my second semester as a college freshman. Bear with me while I take a moment to reflect over this new phase and prepare for the few months ahead.

There is something bittersweet about the second semester. I'm no longer the innocent, wide-eyed, fresh out of Catholic School-girl that I was in September when I first stepped foot on campus. I love and hate the feeling of being the new kid. I've moved around to many schools in my life, across the span of just two states, Kentucky and Minnesota, and so I've grown accustomed to change and new atmospheres. In fact, I crave it. I love a new schedule, a new routine, and new faces. And of course, who can forget the opportunity to create a new self, to be someone you have always wanted to be, to start fresh.

So now that I'm in my second semester, I can no longer pull a naive excuse. I know the ropes, and I'm expected to ease back into my classes as a fully-fledged college student. It is true that I do feel much more equipped to tackle the stress of a full class schedule. I've had my moments of procrastination, and I'm sure I will have many more, but the lure of all the excessive socializing has worn off for me. I often felt unable to say "no" my first semester, which led to many caffeine-fueled nights finishing a paper at three-o'clock in the morning. My goal is to have, hopefully, only one or two of those this semester.

Emotionally, I had a yo-yo of a semester. I had many good times, meeting new people and enjoying life as an independent student away from home for the first time. Yet I felt that I had an equal number of times when I was down, whether it was a personal issue I was going through or an external problem with someone. It would be a lie to say that I have completely moved on from these issues. In fact, during the winter break I pondered these thoughts in an excessive, almost self-indulgent, manner. My hope is that once classes begin again I will settle into a new routine and banish the old demons that still continue to drag me down, trying with all their might to keep me from my goals and from my dreams.

And so, even if I have to make myself be positive and optimistic, I want to encourage myself and others to have an excellent spring semester. And if you are feeling the same way as I feel, I have a piece of advice for you. Don't ignore your weaknesses, don't pretend they don't exist. If you acknowledge them, then you are better able to battle them and to understand yourself better in the process. I'm going to do the best I can, from this point on, to live today better than yesterday, and to live tomorrow better than today.

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