Eulogy for a Catholic School Uniform

We gather here today to mourn the loss of a Catholic School Uniform. After the graduation of the senior-year high school student, Uniform was laid to rest at the bottom of the closet, buried under the sediment, and by that I mean cast-off handbags and shoes. Here we remember you, so that we may forever lay to rest unpleasant fashion memories.

Over-the-Ankle Socks: You covered our scandalous ankles from prying eyes. You were a very discrete, chunky band of white that streamlined the look of those good ol' Sperrys. As you know, there is nothing more obscene than a naked ankle, you might as well be posing for Playboy. Thank you for protecting our modesty.

White Polo: The under-layer of this fashion team, you are the un-sung hero of this look. By pulling out the white collar over our sweater or sweatshirt, you granted us instant cool. Why pop your collar when you can pull it out from underneath your sweater, like a classy dame? Oh, and we must not forget to tuck you under our skirts, an un-tucked edge peeking out under a sweatshirt is an obstacle to success!

Gray Senior Sweatshirt: Ah, the Sacred Senior Sweatshirt. We wait for you for three years in our acrylic navy sweater, only to be disappointed by your unflattering puffy shape. You did nothing for our figures, but I can say we were the most fashionable gray clouds in the atmosphere.

Navy Blue Skirt: How could we forget you, Navy Blue Skirt? Your polyester-goodness was the cornerstone of the classic Catholic School-Girl uniform. So we never wore you at the correct length, so we rolled and unzipped your uncomfortable waistband, so we occasionally doctored you up with safety pins, duct tape, and even staples. You stuck with us...Monday through Friday from 8am to 2:45 pm. We will always remember our fond love-hate relationship (with less of the former), and vow never to wear navy again.

We will forever remember you, dear Uniform, but we think it best that you not haunt our style from the grave.